The Birth Of My Second Child Brought Me Into The Unknown – And In That Darkness, I Find Wonder

“I’ve had a second baby, seven years after my first. My body remembered the wonder, the repetition, the slog. Yet I was shocked, once again, by the jarring instability of this phase: ecstatic one day, unbearable the next. I imagined someone from my old life seeing me on the street, stained, ragged and muttering non-linear thoughts about my immediate needs. I was too tired to be embarrassed so I laughed, a kind of unhinged, maniacal laugh. After all, I had been there once before.

In the early weeks, I steal moments to breathe, plead and pray. When my baby sleeps, I stretch out on the floor, feeling the painful tension in my back and neck. I promise myself that I will reconstitute my life, find a new routine and carve out time to work, write and exercise. This is a promise I cannot fulfil. And each day I find myself back lying in the same spot, fantasising about a life that is familiar – not necessarily my old life, but a life in which I can predict what will happen tomorrow and the next day.” – The Guardian

Read the full article at The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/aug/26/the-birth-of-my-second-child-brought-me-into-the-unknown-and-in-that-darkness-i-found-wonder